The Window I really Wanted

“Grandma Pat wants a gas tanker for her birthday.” Max, age 3

I am Grandma Pat and from Max’s point of view, who could want anything else?

I've been thinking about the things we want and the perspective from which our wants spring forth and land into someone else’s arms in the form of a present.

For my husband’s birthday one year, I commissioned a painting of our four children. I found a skilled artist who charged a reasonable price for a beautiful painting. With great anticipation, I presented the painting to my husband who was pleased but did not react in the way I had hoped. Had he asked for a painting? Only after a hard look at self, did I realize I was the one who wanted the painting.

This past September, I started working on a stained glass window for my husband’s office. It was to be his Christmas gift. I chose his favorite colors and carefully designed the Celtic knots and varying patterns of clear glass. It was finished in the usual pre-Christmas rush. With great anticipation, I presented the window to my husband who was pleased but did not react in the way I had hoped. Did he want a stained glass window? Only after a hard look at self, did I realize I was the one who wanted the window.

These two instances shine a different light on the thought that when you give, you really do give a part of yourself. Having given too much of my self, I decided I needed to give a present that I didn't want and the present had to be something I knew the receiver really wanted. So, I ordered a 1993 Exxon gas tanker in little-boy size. Max should get it in the mail by week’s end and I have asked his mother to pass on this note when it arrives, “ Hey Max, Grandma got a gas tanker for her birthday, but since I am through playing with it, I have sent it to you. Enjoy.”

After filling up my gas tank today, at $3.30 a gallon, I realized that Max perhaps was much more intuitive than I had originally thought. A full gas tanker would actually be a very nice present.